Modest Excitment

I'm an art student, learning all I can. I have a lot of dreams and I don't know how to achieve them but I'll figure it out.

Tired guys with messy hair and facial hair. 

WELL I got onto the wait list for Sheridan Animation!

Only time will tell now, I might get in I might not, but I am so damn proud of myself to get this far.

Whatever happens I am happy. I proved myself wrong.



Hey guys, I’m wondering what

-you’d like to see me focus on in my art

-what you like so far

-what you’d like to see improve

-anything that irks you about my art.

-stuff you want to see me draw.

Feel free to go anon, I won’t be publishing or responding these but I’ll appreciate the input. Thank you!

(via tacogrande)

So I’ve noticed that I have absolutely no desire to be in a relationship. Like when I think about it I just feel cold and strange, and I don’t feel like I want anything from anyone, and I’m afraid this is because my previous (and only) relationship was so shitty that I’m just never going to want that ever again. 

And this makes me sad, because I used to want someone around one day, but now I don’t want anyone. But even before all that I could never even imagine myself with anyone in the future. 

I don’t feel like I could possibly trust anyone emotionally like that again. 

More thoughts on art



Man the one thing I can’t stop thinking about is how desperate young artists seem to be for shortcuts, and that’s kind of disheartening

When I was streaming I got a bunch of questions asking like ‘Do you have tips or tutorials for drawing xyz thing’ and my response to those questions was consistently ‘Just practise and research.’

And it seemed like a lot of people were not happy with that answer.

Like I mean if you want to get better at art, that’s how it is. That’s what you have to do. There are no shortcuts, there are no fast-tracks to learning and mastering techniques. Sure you can look up tutorials and stuff but the main issue I have with tutorials is not the tutorials themselves, but rather the way people consume them.

It’s like when they see something put down on paper and there are steps to it or whatever, they will follow those steps and follow that exact set of steps for as long as they can, until they realise that not branching out and trying new things has ultimately given them a sort of artistic handicap.

Learning to do things in different ways is very important for becoming a good artist. Trying new things and branching away from your comfort zone is wildly important to your development. I mean, it’s kind of like doing anything else that requires dedication and repetition and practise.

Sure, you can play a song on guitar, but that doesn’t mean you know how to play guitar. That means you know how to play one song, one way. And that’s not helping you at all.

Same goes for art! You need to try. You need to force yourself away from what you’re used to doing and try different ways. You need to look at the broader picture, as it were. Don’t limit yourself. Don’t go ‘Oh, this tutorial says that this is how I should shade skin so obviously this is the only way I am going to do it for the rest of my artistic career.’

Sure, you can shade skin to make it look like it’s in broad daylight. But what about if you want to shade skin to make it look like the character you’re drawing is illuminated by the moon? What if you want to draw them in a dark and dingy swamp? What if you want to draw them in a night club? Then where will your tutorial be to help you?

That sounds really ominous but it’s true. You have to move your assand try different things. Don’t rely entirely on what someone tells you as the end-all-be-all to your method of drawing. Expand and question things! Look up like a BUNCH of different references and try to combine them! STOP LOOKING FOR SHORTCUTS.

I mean idk, art isn’t an easy thing. It takes years to hone and change and improve and even the masters were still improving and changing and getting better when they were at the end of their lives! Sitting there on your computer going ‘WHY CAN’T I DO THIS’ probably has something to do with the fact that you’re likely jumping into the deep end rather than starting from the very beginning, and that’s when you’re more likely to get frustrated and give up.

No, it isn’t fun to realize that you have to go back QUITE A BIT until you end up getting to where you need to be, but yo, them’s the breaks. Everyone has the potential to be a great artist, but you need the motivation and the dedication and that means not cutting corners.

Any art college professor will tell you that. Joe Schmoe on the street drawing in his little life drawing sketchbook will tell you that. Even weird impressionist artists will tell you that. If you want to sit in your little bubble and stick to only what you’ve been told and not branch out, then fine, but don’t get all persnickety when five years down the line you realise you shouldn’t have done that.

Can everyone just read this?? Life lessons.

I completely agree with this. I used to find painting really hard, in my first year of college I on;y got to paint with acrylics, and my teachers had a specific way of teaching. They wanted you to paint the way THEY painted.

So I would get frustrated and ended up not enjoying painting. The next year I took a painting class where we got to try different paint mediums. I made my own egg tempera paint, and painted with it. I got to try watercolours and oils for the first time. And eve just this little bit of exploration changed my view of painting, and it was like my mind opened up. Now love to paint and my teachers are extremely helpful, always encouraging you to try different methods and get out of your comfort zone.

The more you practice and look at something from every possible angle, the better you will get.

(via tacogrande)

2.5 hour life drawing
Conte and chalk pastels
Again I didn’t bother to take a decent picture of this, so the lighting is a bit off. The skin tones are much more fleshy, then the way they look.


I think I am eligible for a British Citizenship. And if I’m not I know I AM eligible for a two year Youth Mobility visa. 

So yes, my plan. After my 3-4 years of animation school, I will save up some money working, (hopefully in my field) and then either apply for the visa, or if I’ve already gotten my citizenship, move to England for a while. However I do it I’m going to live there. It’s decided. 

Maybe I can even get a job in my field there! Who knows! All I know is this is my goal now. 

I have finished my Sheridan portfolio. I’m submitting it tomorrow. 

I wont find anything out for a month. 

To be honest I’m really doubting myself now. This feels like a pipe dream every time I get to this point. I want to be there, but I just have to accept that I might not be good enough. 

But regardless of the outcome, I have been accepted at Seneca, and even if I don’t feel fulfilled after that I’ll carve my own path.

Sheridan portfolio date is 10 days away. 

Just a dump of some work I’ve been doing. 

Might be using some of these as personal work in my portfolio!

All of these are just crappy photographs. I’d like to scan them or something but 

that would actually require me to do something…